Clean Out Your Freezer

I want to lose weight, really, I do. I know it would be best for me to drop a few pounds. It would make me healthier in my body, but my mind and emotions would benefit as well. Yep, everyday I wake up resolved to make this change.

But I have a problem… a cold, half-gallon problem.

I like chocolate ice cream. Sometimes I think I love it. I like the comfort it brings. If I have a rough day I know I can rely on its sugary goodness to make me feel better…at least for a while. Yeah, I like ice cream…but I hate what it does to me.

Being an emotional eater is a strange thing. It’s almost like an out of body experience. As you go through the motions involved to remove the carton from the freezer, scoop it into a bowl, and consume the treat your mind is saying “stop”, but your body overrules it. Almost the instant it’s gone, you realize the mistake you’ve made. It didn’t make you feel as good as you thought it would. The day was still bad. Your heart was still broken. The questions still linger. But now you can add the pain of a brain freeze and fear of the scale in the morning.

I write this full of resolve in my heart, yet again. I’m giving up this stuff. I’m going to turn my back on sugar. I’m going to lose this weight because I have to for my own good. Yes, I mean it this time. But there’s a problem…

I keep a carton of ice cream in my freezer at all times.

For emergencies.

It’s bad for me. Time has proven it to be so. My head understands this, but I need that contingency plan. I keep it on standby just in case. The last bridge I want to burn is the one with ice cream on it. But as long as it’s an option, I will keep running to it.

It occurs to me that this was the same pattern I carried in the relationships of my youth. I knew certain people were bad for me. I ran to them for comfort, but the comfort was fleeting. Soon enough I’d realize how bad they were for me. I’d resolve to leave them. But they were always in my “freezer”. I kept them close enough in case I had a bad day. Maybe next time would be different. Maybe next time they wouldn’t play games that left my head and heart aching. But the next time was always like the last time.

If you were serious about a diet, you’d throw out the sweets. If you were serious about being sober, you’d pour the liquor down the sink. If I had been serious about moving on to healthy relationships I’d make sure the bad ones weren’t being kept on ice.

The day finally came when I realized the pattern I was in. All the good intentions in the world didn’t matter if the bad relationships were still close enough to be an option.

When food addicts throw out food they tend to make a total mess of it so they won’t be tempted to go back into the trash and retrieve it-yes, their addiction is so bad they’d go into the garbage to get the food they were trying to discard. So they can’t just put the cookies in the trash can. They’ll put other garbage on top, or maybe smother it with mustard to make it totally unappealing.

Disgusting, right. That’s the picture I want in your mind next time you run back to that person or thing that has you trapped. You are digging in the garbage-and darling, you are much too good for that.

I’ve heard it said that the thing you run to for comfort is your idol. Think: What or who do you run to for comfort? Have they taken the place of God in your life? When they are done “comforting” you, are you better off? Are you a better person when you are with them? Are you more like the man or woman God intended you to be when you are with them?

If this relationship (whether romantic or friendly) is hurting you, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, it’s time to throw it out, cover it in garbage, and walk it to the garbage truck yourself to make sure it can’t be an option tomorrow or next week or next year.

You deserve better, and you can have better, but only if you clean out your freezer.